The Bailey Blog

Warhol said everyone gets 15 minutes of fame; now, you can buy it by the hour.

It has come to my attention - which is significant because I really don’t get out much - that you can buy a gaggle of paparazzi to follow yer boyz or gal pals around for a night on the town.

These rent-a-nag services are getting ink and tape nationally as the latest craze for that night out.

“Look - is that someone!? It must be…look at all the photographers.”

Now, wait a minute… haven’t I been taught by Entertainment Tonight that nearly every celeb out there in rehab, embroiled in a recent scandal or just walking through JFK really just wants to be left alone, treated like a normal schlub, or simply dreads their inability to go out in public without being hounded by these gang of photo-popping profiteers?

Didn’t we get the whole “Princess Di Died Because She was Chased by Photographers” memo?

Some of the most common images that grace many a screen or tabloid usually resemble someone’s palm because they are holding up a hand up to ward off the blinding glare of flashing bulbs.

But now, we commoners are so desperate and vain - we need to feel like a “somebody” so badly that we will pay good money to experience the annoyances that go along with being a celebrity.

The cynic might say, “hey, you hermit, celebs would wither away without that type of attention - they LOVE it; they only complain as part of the act.”

Ok. I get that…after all, it would seem the “PR” phrase associated with my job title over the years does not mean that I grew up in “Puerto Rico” but that I’m in “public relations.”

At its heart, PR seeks exposure in the media for clients. But, it is different since as PR folk, we attempt to harness the third-party credibility of the media by putting forth experts who are also credible in their fields.

It’s that credibility - their messages that are valid, true and factual - of the spokespeople we represent, that allow the PR person to provide the service of getting “someone’s story out there” to a journalist and ultimately to a target audience. In other words, these people do more than show up at a bar.

But, this faux celebrity stuff? Just seems a bit showboat to me and smells of not of teen spirit, but big ego and small self esteem. Oh, and the whole thing can cost up to $1,500 from some “services.” If you have $1,500 bones to throw at fake photographers — some who don’t even carry FILM?! In my book, you, babe, my hip, funky-fresh one, are now famous…or famously something.

You may say they have a great PR firm to get this kind of attention. Perhaps.

But, my point is that this service goes way beyond having pictures taken of ourselves at events since the idea is to conjure up a fake situation that manipulates people into thinking that they need to pay attention to what you are doing.

This is not the same as renting a limo for an event - that could actually have a function of getting a group - who could be less than 100 percent tea-toting, shall we say - home safely… and likely, us home safely, too, if they aren’t behind the wheel.

So now we have completely devolved into beings who need to manufacture attention for…well…just being there.

Talent isn’t the issue; why work for it when you can buy it?

C’mon…wasn’t karaoke enough? Can’t sing, don’t have a band, just downed your fourth shot and feel brave enough to warble through “Come On Eileen”?

Hey…we’ve seen how that horror movie ends, people. I have two words - “William Hung.”